Find out what your fellow-cynics are cynical about... then tell 'em what YOU'RE cynical about!

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OK, So What Are You Cynical About?

Imagine our children being forced to marry quadroons, octaroons and fake humans. What a horrible future that would be.
    -   Stars and Bars

Already under Obongos rule the scourge of ape rapes have skyrocketed. If he wins again humanity will be doomed.
    -   Stars and Bars

And the Libs obsess over tricking our women into mating with these savages and producing hybrid monkey abominations.
    -   Stars and Bars

And its hard to believe the Liberals try to make us feel sorry for these filthy dumb gorillas that dont know what soap and concrete are.
    -   Stars and Bars

Just look at Africa. They rub themselves with s-hit, build their huts with s-hit, even made a drug out of poop fumes.
    -   Stars and Bars

Humans shy away from crap because it is full of disease but in nigger society, poop is central to their way of life.
    -   Stars and Bars

the main reason why niggers cant function in civilization is because they are a fecal-brained race. Their low IQ is an obvious fact.
    -   Stars and Bars

Now theyre plotting a riot in New York. This race of apes just loves to cause mayhem.
    -   Stars and Bars

Another reason why niggers suck is because theyre in league with the illegals. Look at them operating smuggling rings in LA.
    -   Stars and Bars

I wonder what ol’ Rick would do if he didn’t have his ginormous hubris to play with every day…? He’d probably have to go and get a real job.
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

The man who orders "Bitter...biter" must be a german, but is he bitter as well? We may never know....
    -   Atitchoo!

The zeitgeist movement
    -   Tricia Deo

...the brain wobbles... and having wobbled, moves on in search of greener pastures... and wabbles there a bit...
    -   Psychic parrots of the world on-the-top!

We need to vote for a human this year. I dont care if its Romney or Gingrich. We cant have any more Liberal evil in America!
    -   Stars and Bars

Next thing we will be like the curry nigger hellhole called India where old men marry toddlers. Were halfway there with vegans.
    -   Stars and Bars

That is proof that they are all a bunch of godless pedofiles. Our kids are not safe under Osamas rule.
    -   Stars and Bars

Speaking of plagues those Liberal hippies are now being a curse in our cities. Look at them throwing condoms at little girls!
    -   Stasrs and Bars

Seriously we should just let Nature take its course over there. Maybe AIDS and ebola will finally rid them all.
    -   Stars and Bars

Those Zimbwebian porch monkeys run around blaming and killing humans for everything but they keep begging for handouts from us.
    -   Stars and Bars

But we all know the truth. Coons are nothing but a bunch of lazy thieving retards. Just look at Apefreaka and its turmoil.
    -   Stars and Bars

For four painful weeks they will try to convince us that niggers are human beings that invented civilization and culture.
    -   Stars and Bars

While America is reeling from Osamas incompetence, the Libs now try to pollute our minds with Ape History Month.
    -   Stars and Bars

This pathetic excuse of a life people continue to live without realizing that theyve been fed utter bullcrap their entire lives..
    -   Jeff

The truth is, if you drop half your Digestive on the floor you replace it. Some people cant take the truth, especially the Pentagon.
    -   Agent wexguz

yogurt with chunks in it
    -   bob

Cannibals! You think theyre your friend and the moment your back is turned they take a bite out of your ass - disgraceful!
    -   Freddy -boy!

If your glass is half empty, youve already had a drink and youve still got half a glass to go --but youre still going to die!
    -   Damn-it Van - man!

Oh my God! We each of us swallow vast amounts of dust every day - were all a load of bloody cannibals! - including Jesus, Joseph & Mary!
    -   Enlightened of Maffiking

A brain that wobbles is hardly worth having; stop it wobbling - now!
    -   iconoclastic1

Time spent on the bog is down-time: just do it!
    -   Swiftly-done!

Is it true that ol’ Rick is a wishy-washy liberal moderate? No, he’s a raving bloody cynic (with an itty-bitty little c) – mark my words!
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

People that dont care what the state of our planet is for OURSELVES.
    -   Cynic Anonymous

Kids these days.
    -   Jake Heaton

Guys are never so contented and at rest than when they are taking a crap: it is an altered-state sort of moment in their state of being.
    -   Al Freebee

Delusionally positive people. Yes, there are reasons NOT to walk around grinning like a fvcking idiot all day.
    -   Realist

People who use nonsensical short hand or misspell words when expressing cynicism
    -   Todd Fledermaus

excessively negative people
    -   Loren

Domestic cats are more canny than we think them: give them opposable thumbs and they will eventually take over the world.
    -   The Wise One on Biker-Acid!

The incessant need for all people to know more. With all that knowledge to they really know anything?
    -   Crys2011

Those who question that progress is, by all means necessary whatever it takes.
    -   Pedro.

Those who make you laugh – psychos! Cartoonists – all psychos! But people who are serious like ol’ Rick who don’t – still psychopaths!
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

Anyone who claims to be happy, in my experience the only cause of that is mental illness
    -   Foober

There are only two kinds of people in this world, those who consider and those who calculate with the rest of them.
    -   Antipasties

Society has made humankind an obese, lazy, unintelligent, technology depended virus.
    -   Paramagician

Remember, all New Age gurus wisdom needs paying for, but not in kind - with cash on the nail.
    -   iconiclastic1

Relationships
    -   Gwens

A chronic sensation that I am a background character in my own life. No purpose, no fulfillment, no cause.
    -   Levon Gabor

Loads of character is what you have when youve lost everything you can afford to lose and people want you to piss off.
    -   Finibus Bonorum

How amusing those who see personal gain as the way to get what they want; better to put them down before they hurt themselves.
    -   Freddie Frisby

So-called "popularity". There is no such thing. Fact: EVERYONE hates EVERYONE!!!
    -   Kalli

Never mistake a true philosopher for a right fucker. As, unremarkably enough, they both look and act remarkably similar.
    -   Antipasties

Cat-jell-O! This is the meaning of life: To feed you cat cat-jell-O! To feed him or her his or her cat-jell-O! Feed it: feed your cat!
    -   AnTiddles fancier, etc.

Sometimes young men can do two thinks at once, like pat the tops of their heads and have a wank - they re veritable supermen!
    -   Caleb H. Frankenfurter.

be crazy and fall in love
    -   samantha hurst

There is no rest for the wicked, but if you can kick him in the balls he will find it difficult to sit down comfortably as well.
    -   Bombardier

Stipulating you will only consider those who are already employed for a job opening
    -   Wants to work

Cynics
    -   Captain cynicism

Handy ecological tip No. 43: Always use your tea bags twice: All those Yanks who dont drink tea should go home - nobody likes you!
    -   True Eco-Toff.

Leaders, followers, lawyers, rebels, backstabbers, brown-nosers, yes-men, middlemen & clapped out copywriters, etc., etc, etc...
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

Looks like Stars & Barf is running out of poop to play with -has Stars & Barf pooped his last poop? Nobody knows!
    -   I follow myself!

Zombie thinking is for zombies! - dont be a f`cking zombie-thinker -- Be a f`cking zombie-cynic instead!
    -   Zierox-boy!

When I post something enlightening on facebook it gets no response. But 5 people will like "Its sunny today!!!"
    -   Anthony

People who blame Obama when they should be blaming his predecessor as the reason why the economy is in the toillet.
    -   Calloused Chuck

Indifference to humanity is the essence of humanity!
    -   Awooooowh—wherewolfs of London!

They have revealed that they are nothing but a bunch of traitors who want us to become godless Commies.
    -   Stars and Bars

I hope the Libs are happy now as they harass hardworking people by squatting outside Wall Street like Third World scum.
    -   Stars and Bars

That Swahilian terrorist jogaboo is the worst f-ucking thing to happen to America. He wants us all to suffer.
    -   Stars and Bars

Now we cant fuel our cars because Osama wants us to buy oil from his Muslim cousins instead of using our own.
    -   Stars and Bars

And theyve made bestiality legal. Now the nigger will violate our women and never get punished.
    -   Stars and Bars

Our nation is becoming a godless hellhole! Liberals are making fun of 9/11 while turning our cities into hippie communes.
    -   Stars and Bars

I cant believe that there is no human out there who can defeat that coon Osama! This cant be happining!
    -   Stars and Bars

Witnessing the word "epic" become a cliche.
    -   Ben Dunder

People who shelter their children and expect them to survive in the real world.
    -   Calloused Chuck

Time is of the essence to the inconstant bean! Are you listening to me? Ill say it again for the ignoramouses at the back if I have to!
    -   Micky Le Mouse

Give me gratifying debauchery over religious prudery any day.
    -   Calloused Chuck

I came here to find what to be cynical about and all I got for my trouble was a load of lousy second-hand opinions!
    -   LAX.- disgruntled of

People who make lists, especially cynical lists.
    -   youre welcome

Think: saving used bog-rolls is saving yourself and your familly from extinction: just do it: go, go green!
    -   The Green Man!

Why do public schools adjourn mid-afternoon when most parents cannot leave their jobs until 5pm? What idiot came up with that idea?
    -   Plain Spoken

When notjhing happens nothing much shall occur, but dont worry we can all watch the Simpsons instead. for somethint to do.
    -   fkcqya

However long you think you can last out against the inevitable insufferability of being, it will never last.
    -   ...?

Alcoholics Anonymous.
    -   Anon

Friends who use you as a business pawn when they should be using you as a friend.
    -   Nick

Engineering students who make fun of liberal arts students
    -   Kibbles

Those who seek power or already have it; I have nothing but pity for them.
    -   Calloused Chuck

Rumour has it that ol’ Rick is going to give us a book of essays: It’s been a long time coming, but it’s a pity it didn’t take longer.
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

@ male feminists: Do you carry your testicles in your scrotum or in a purse?
    -   Calloused Chuck

#718# stuck living with parents cos your getting a divorce from your cheating husband.
    -   force quit

You gotto understand that people are selfish - but a good thing is they know how to keep the other guy down & out by it.
    -   Freddeee

The only phrase that ingrates understand is "phuck you."
    -   Calloused Chuck

Today, there is nothing to be cynical about; which must be an imporvement on being cynical about anything.
    -   I am a Cynic.

"You cant keep a good man down." Which is why theres so many mediocre ones about, clambering for position over the backs of failures.
    -   Jaded Jake

Whats the weather like today? Same as always.
    -   Clueless in Bagmon.

It is a fine day today for cats: Do not think of the little furry kitten all alone and starving in the night!
    -   Kitty-Kathy

People out there are still shouting out happy new-year to strangers -whats that about if not the gee-up? I just dont understand it!!!
    -   Al Eggbert

To spam or not to spam? That is the meat of the matter!
    -   Veggi-frankle-furter.

I like bankers. I wish my job was feeding people feces.
    -   Power Hungry Dipshit

Everybody wants to know the truth, but nobody wants to do what it takes to find it.
    -   The Truth-Slayer

The only thing thats worse than being handicapped or disabled is being dependent on incompetent help.
    -   Calloused Chuck

Nobody really has any time for you, it must then be your task simply to make time for yourself...
    -   Mr. Tic-Toc...

Going for it isnt so bad: if you do it, do it, do it! Youl never regret not doing it, then.
    -   khandee

Never Assume nothing. the only thing that is automatic is a dump & only you get that from eating regular.
    -   a concerned man

Whey you go out looking for either pecking emus in the pecking order, or just enemies, you will find them - the fcuk-ing bastards!
    -   Words worth.

I try my damnest to be understanding with the ignorance of 80s pop culture by the young.
    -   Calloused Chuck

You can tell its new years day: theres nothing on TV, the people look miserable & even the prechers have strained smiles on their faces.
    -   misery likes company2

To the theist: "Ill do some believen when I start doing some recieven."
    -   Calloused Chuck

#715 People who write lists of things theyre cynical about.
    -   miguel Elles

Another new year comes around, like a dead cat in heat, and Ive gotto go out again into the night and say happy days to the natives -oh no.
    -   Happy jack

Facebook
    -   member of a brainwashed generation

**Dont be mean --Go, Go, Green!**
    -   The [jolly] Green Giant.

One should never waste their breath giving good advice to the obviously stupid.
    -   Calloused Chuck

Those people that take the time to explain their greatness have already lost what they desire: positive evaluation.
    -   Sparta

Theres nothing worse for a father to be normal - it just encorages your kids to be as well - & nothing more.
    -   Benny

Ah, the agony, the pain, the angst, the hubris! It’s all there in ol’ Rick’s Dictionary – I suggest you avoid it like the Bubonic Plague!
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

Laughter is the first sign of ignorance.
    -   Calloused Chuck

Christmas is over- thank God. It only makes me miserable, & decreases the amount of joy being felt in the world by one -not good!
    -   Weewillie strikes again!!!

The world is full of opportunity, but youll have to wade through crap to get it.
    -   Frank Burns

You CAN fart everyday for the rest of your life, but it doesnt change anything.
    -   the incredible farting man!

The world is full of sad and lonely people and some are called Bob. Bob, Bob, are you out there? Youre not alone anymore bob!
    -   Barry, Bobs friend

You’re never alone on Boxing Day with a copy of ol’ Rick’s Cynic’s Dictionary to hand, even if you feel suicidal about it all as a result.
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

What can you do with a man who doesnt know what to do other than to tell him what to do with himself- the useless tosser!
    -   wee-willie wanks here - wow!

Religion is for the old and tired not for the young and robust.
    -   Calloused Chuck

This world. Dreams are broken, optimism is useless, and non-Aspies blame Aspies for everything and are anti-intellectual.
    -   dog

Merry Christmas! Here is a Christmas gift 4U: That gift you wanted ever so much that you cant have? Well you really cant have it!
    -   A Christmas gift 4U

I not claiming to be the smartest man in the world but people are idiots.
    -   Calloused Chuck

Having to lower your level of intelligence as a sign of good gesture or courtesy.
    -   Calloused Chuck

The main protagonists in any war use their young mens testosterone rush to run it: so lets kill off all these young warriors & have peace!
    -   The Santa Klaus

There aint nothin so free as a freebie, as we dont rightly know what it costs.
    -   Asif Smith

It’s amusing that these “cynical guys” keep on moaning – they should get on their bikes and drive themselves into a brick wall for comfort.
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

lets just say that I would totally press the "reset buttom".
    -   Santiago

The most misguided people who are living in America are the poor Republicans.
    -   Calloused Chuck

Some mob comes around Christmas singing carols expecting moula from me! Id give em what for with a flamethrower! Useless tossers!
    -   Olrick

Child prodigys are like kittens or puppies; theyre only cute until they reach puberty and adulthood.
    -   Calloused Chuck

This joint’s like an executive washroom once the CEO has done his business: clean as a whistle & smells of Vanish! It shouldn’t be allowed!
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

Cynics are colour blind realists.
    -   Oleg, Oleg, wherefore are thou Oleg!

All mans values are relative to how large his penis is, and weather flaccid or errect.
    -   ginormous ethics.

Today, I shall say something truly irrelevant!
    -   I, forever me, eternally, I!

When its time to "go for it," only going too far is far enough.
    -   Orrible Orifice of Obfuscation.

When has not thinking about yourself ever benefited you?
    -   Calloused Chuck

The homersimpsons that prefer mars bars to milky ways, - faggots one and all!
    -   voice of reason

Rules were meant to be exploited.
    -   Calloused Chuck

When you think around a problem you should remember that most people are too thick to do that –-theyre double-dumb-asses.
    -   Archie.

Beware of holly people!
    -   Calloused Chuck

Dont feed the monkeys! (They like soul-food best.)
    -   The Wise One!

What a boring old worlds this is... onlyu the loupie-Lous have a real purpose.
    -   michael

I believe that the Koran as written by guys on biker-acid is up there with works by Tim Leary and de Sade, who cares if its right or wrong!
    -   Anony A. Mouse, Esq.

To the Christians: I didnt ask you to save my soul.
    -   Calloused Chuck

Pfah! Christmas -- its full of schmaltz and weird geyzers like Stars-&-Barf who jump out of bushes and bite your ass -- youll learnt, boy!
    -   Olrick

Without fail a man sits on the bog every day, and what does he do there? He contemplates the universe... This is social justice.
    -   Justice Louis D. Brandaris.

"I dont give a damn if hes a preacher; he feels the heat in his pants just like I do."
    -   Calloused Chuck