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What Are YOU Cynical About?

Find out what your fellow-cynics are cynical about... then tell 'em what YOU'RE cynical about!

This public list keeps 150 items posted at any given time. When you add an item to the list, the oldest one drops off. So if you want to preserve your contribution for the ages, print it when you're done... or come back in the future and post again!

If you want to rant at greater length or socialize with our Cynic's Sanctuary regulars, be sure to visit the Cynic's Message Board.

OK, So What Are You Cynical About?


Mahaha, if people want to hate me, at least they’re talking about and want to be me. Im honored! ;D
    -   Lance

This guy Lance: he’s got more mouth on him than Bugs Bunny! He’s got to be some kind of pretty-boy cynic doing it for the C.C. crew!
    -   Dr. Bong!

When you are forced to remain in situations which you hate to the maximum extent, a cynic is borne.
    -   Krishna

There seems to be no cure for YOU, Crazy Rabbit.
    -   Rick

Oh, Rick, clearly you suffer from the illusion that you are “Thee Cynic”; I’m afraid that there’s NO cure for a delusion of that magnitude…
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

Game score that always end with zero.
    -   Alex

Bigoted retards like Lance & “friend” should go back to the C.C. crew from whence you came(?): perhaps they also need a hand – job!
    -   Soundbow

Ahhh… Just finished a steaming plate of “Bangers and Mash” followed by a heaping bowl of “Spotted Dick” with my good friend Dr Bong.
    -   Yzarc ibnFuckaar

Dr. Bong! You crack me up you little bonging bugger! Come on, you’re pulling my bell-rope: let’s hear another peeling neigh from you!
    -   Facetious Fred!

Now is the time to hear the rounded peel of the "Virtuous" Cynics! Come one, come all: the time of the cynical campanologist is neigh!
    -   Dr. Bong!

Rick, how can you go on here with your cranky editorial ways thinking its critical appraisal of any cynically intellectual calibre?
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

Sorry you guys, Im allergic to mindless insolents. Good luck murmur to the wall.
    -   Lance

Andore…your mouthings remind me that there’s perfection in nothingness…and you obviously possessed by its ringing echoes.
    -   Soundbow

Weakness in a man is abhorrent to a woman, as it makes her eggs turn sour.
    -   Defined Dunroamin

Hey, Lance, armpit noises aren’t a language! Go get a life – boy!
    -   Dr. Bong!

Monotonous NASCAR busters without even pick a favorite driver.
    -   Alex

Repetitive Internet Trolls without a cyber conscience...
    -   Toil & Trouble

Pot shots at favourite targets not particularly involved in pandering for Rick’s favourite cyber-puppets’ cynically fed feelings.
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

Hey, this guy “Lance” must be some sort of drum-beating cyber-bitch for the C.C. crew’s more kinky pleasures – how pathetic!
    -   Dr. Bong!

Familiarity breeds contempt and f*ucking cynics!
    -   Borstal Boy

Hey Dr. Bong, my Heaven is your Hell. If you dont like it, then you can kiss my ass and leave.
    -   Lance

People that confuse cynicism with being annoyed and lists that could be just as appropriately titled Things that piss me off.
    -   CR

People who write letters to newspapers about trivial points just so they can tell everyone that they work for charity.
    -   Brian

Drama queens of Internet who dont know how to take crticism from a cynic and move on.
    -   Alex

Why dont you just shut the f*ck up Lancey-boy, and go and play with your hand-bells...ding-dong!
    -   Dr. Bong!

Internet trolls.
    -   Double God

Hi, Yzarc Tibbar, welcome to the way we roll... how about be quiet about Rick, his website, the rest of cynics here, and go f*ck yourself?
    -   Lance

This website looks like Rick’s probably just tried to invent a new form of rhetorical torture for cynics other than ones not his allies.
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

When ask someone what his/her dream job is, the anwser is... "no job but get paid to live".
    -   Alex

Peoples obsessive use of facebook; google taking over everything; US politics.
    -   kking

People who think you’re an idiot because they don’t understand.
    -   Arcane

Seriously, Rick, you’re just foreplaying about on this kinky bit of the Internet for the sake of your own pocket-book aren’t you?
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

Having to teach the cretins sired and raised by morons.
    -   Paul

A mother who blather how much "sacrifices" they have to make for children and be proud of every little thing about them.
    -   Alex

Control freaks & their lack of control...
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

Ignorance is bliss & so is life.
    -   Ziltoid

Now I love the smell of burning panties in the morning... But given choice of smells I much prefer to snif babybeatnik’s rather than Rick’s!
    -   valdobiade

People who believe that every animal, predator and prey alike, should be respected equally and view eating meats as immoral.
    -   Alex

What the hell are you doing, Dr. Bong? Why traumatize me while have nothing to gain and make an embarrassed fool out of yourself?
    -   Lance - Shut up, stop whine & get a life

Dr. Bong, just admit that youre a fag.
    -   Andore

If it was not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.
    -   Old Frogglett

Âû äîëæíû áûòü õóäøèì îïðàâäàíèåì çà ÷åëîâåêà, ñ êîòîðûì ÿ êîãäà-ëèáî èìåë íåóäîâîëüñòâèå ê aquaint ñàìîñòîÿòåëüíî.
    -   Håõâàòêó ýòîãî.

All good things end in their time, & even the crappy stuff ends also...but not round here it seems...
    -   I sees youz guys!

This Lance is a fully-fledged ding-dong! He pulls my bell-rope but cant hear the tune!
    -   Dr. Bong!

The Chile earthquake shortened the day by a microsecond. So I will be 30 million years old in order to notice a 1 second difference.
    -   *Yawn*

Why are these VHEMTards so fascinated with Lance? Maybe his name coincides with the lingo for what they really do at their Portland HQ.
    -   The Jihad Against VHEMT

Pathological alienation.
    -   Alex

Health food fanatics who smoke. Whats the point of going on a "cleansing program" when youre putting the crap back into your body?
    -   Stupidity is Infinite

my teachers stalk our facebooks.
    -   Sue

I hate the fact that most people do what they are told.
    -   Stanley

"Only the weak are curel, gentleness can only be expected from the strong." Hence you are a spineless coward for give me unwarranted attack.
    -   Lance

This Lance guy. He’s obviously one card short of a full pack of cards & probably has something against pseudonyms as well...
    -   Dr. Bong!

My college professor used a fricking sudoku puzzle for an exam. I thought it was just another stupid Japanese fad like Pokemon cards!
    -   What the Fuck?

This "Dr. Bong" guy here... forget about this douchebag, he is too afraid of my right to speak whats on my mind.
    -   Lance

The strange similarity of Ricks WAYCA "ackowledgement note" to that of the CIAs email confirmation number note...
    -   Troubadour

This "Alex" guy here - Lock im up!
    -   Dr. Bong!

Wicca: a religion that is often pratice mostly by desperate, noncomfortist single people. No offense to true Wiccans, though.
    -   Alex

Men never ask for directions because they wisely know that people would rather lie outright than say, "I don`t know."
    -   Tired of Feminism

Ex ad-men always have one thing on their minds: Whats for sale and at what price. Know this, you know the cost.
    -   No more peas for me, Ma!

Cynicism is the worst quality in a person.
    -   CoCo

Dear weirdo. Your question or comment has been successfully submitted on the WAYCA page. Your confirmation number is FUKUA1DICK.
    -   Rick

People being objective; they do it thinking from the seat of their pants.
    -   No more peas for me, Ma!

The world isnt what you think it is. ISBN-13: 978-0671683078
    -   Shaman

After just one small mistaken, cops wont leave you alone for over half a year. Whats worse, youre forced to take a drug test.
    -   Alex

stick to the facts...you never have to guess the truth.
    -   neocynic

Teamwork. Because teams are like animals, theyve always got 1 areshole.
    -   Lee Summersby

Help me! I have a mild case of encephalitis of the pee-pee and I just don’t know what to do about it!
    -   Le Dongo

Your wanting to be liked does not achieve that objective, although it may be a good start in this rat race.
    -   Jim Bean

People who conclude, "You dont ask!" What if I DID ask, and got a psychotic comedy show instead of a straightforward answer?
    -   pissed

The pert and the twee on the Cynic’s Sanctuary.
    -   Jaded Jake

Getting stuck in "friend zone"; really you try to be the best person you can and you get punished for it.
    -   Michael Laureani

Delayed gratification: Something you’re prepared to wait for, provided that, if you want some more, it’s always on offer later.
    -   Brian Caky

Those who breed yet do not work, or pay taxes.
    -   Cyrus

Facetious slurs from people you hardly even know - if that!
    -   Willie

A soundly topic is turn down by moderators cuz of "we can not provide you with a specific rationale for our decision, but it is final" Wtf?
    -   Alex

I don’t know whether to mock or pity those people who say “high school will be the best years of your life.”
    -   Pixilated Budgie

Those who can - do. Those who cannot - teach. Those who cannot teach - pontificate.
    -   The Master

Cocksucking cretins who only have one opinion - and that ones a warped one.
    -   Amoralus

Love. Obviously. It has no meaning besides pathetic self-indulgence. Go away.
    -   Bloodstained

May the VHEMT be with you!
    -   Dr. Freud & All of US

Flaky people. If you know you cant carry out a plan, dont make it, cancel at the last minute, and leave me hanging for hours.
    -   Middle Finger

Jesus, did Dr. Roid grow up under power lines or something? He posts like a retarded Jehovas Witness crusader.
    -   The Jihad against VHEMT

Dumb-arsed popinjays who can’t spell for sausages.
    -   The Master

Wee, our favorite certin is back! Have anything new to not share with us?
    -   Lance

V... H... E... M... T...
    -   Dr. Freud & All of US

Tax collectors: their hides should be nailed to the barn door.
    -   Wee Willlie

If you’re not with the groups programme then youre obviously an agitator on the wrong pills.
    -   Lone-Wolf Cynic

People who claim they are open-minded, but get defensive the moment you point out their short-comings.
    -   Amanda

That, at heart, Stars and Bars is just another saucy, ripe-arsed wing-nut jerking-off, and thus, as such, it shouldn’t be allowed!
    -   Yzarc Tibbar

The human race is just a load of existing, thinking, stinking, consuming, sleeping, digesting, defecating, procreating, talking monkeys.
    -   John Smith Jr.

Realizing, after reading the posts from "Stars and Bars", that eugenics might have been a really GOOD idea.
    -   Sigh Nick

Spam. Spam is merely evidential of the gross perversion of humanity’s baser drives.
    -   Pixilated Budgie

the human race and the screwed up nature of people
    -   the mad hatter

people who dont see the that euthanasia is a good thing
    -   Mad Cynic

I always wanted to be a gay-sodomite-stripper-baptist-preacher to the masses in Vegas strip clubs, but my mother wouldnt let me.
    -   Stars and Bars

We will win our country back by voting that Muslim Osambo out of Washington and putting a real Christian American back in the Oval Office!
    -   Stars and Bars

America is Gods country and God does not tolerate niggers and fags and all those who try to defile the American way of life.
    -   Stars and Bars

So all Americans who havent been diseased by the Liberal scourge must see that we need to deport these Liberal traitors back to France
    -   Stars and Bars

The Liberal ploy to turn our kids into butt pirates is all part of their Commie plan to destroy America and its moral values.
    -   Stars and Bars

You all know that you will burn in Hell for being a bunch of sodomites. If God wanted fags he would never have made Eve.
    -   Stars and Bars

I see that the Liberals dont want me to speak the truth about their gay agenda. Look at them trolling me by mispelling my name.
    -   Stars and Bars

He sold us out to the Commies and tried to turn us all into tree-hugging hippie fags. Thank God his evil plan never worked.
    -   Stars and Bars

Now that Obongo is on Capitol Hill we lost the bid to do the Olympics. Goddamn niggers always ruin everything!
    -   Stars and Bars

Mystery in Religion: It being something misunderstood that probably isn’t much use to anyone.
    -   Atheistic anachronism

Over-excited people, reality shows, lifestyle programs, handshakes, stupid people, sociality and stupid fads.
    -   Vitriol

The Republicans. Ive got about as much use for them as a boar has for tits.
    -   Pixilated Budgie.

Goofball politicians who think they’re right to screw up in Iraq, even though anybody with a real jaundiced view thinks they’re wrong!
    -   Fly me — I’m a cynic!

People trying to change things they can’t except.
    -   Dutch

if the light should become brighter, the shadow would become darker. (or atleast it would seem that way)
    -   nobody lol

What you are not, but can always become, is always on the human beings agenda.
    -   Frank E. Steinitz.

The fact that religious folks are always aching to argue with you. Heck, they hunt down people to argue with.
    -   pissed

On a cold day you can see all the local hyinas gathering, and theyve all got cynical smiles.
    -   An observer here

Hell is only mentioned in the book of Revalation. No mention of it was made in the Old Testament or the first 4 books of the New Testament.
    -   atheist

Opinion couched as cynicism put out by cynical persons intent upon causing disruption for their own petty advantage.
    -   Jaded Jake

Being poor has its merits. You get to realise who your real friends are, and you get to see the true nature of women.
    -   unemployed for 7 months

That when you’re on the edge people pound on you, and that’s something to remember when you friends go their own way...
    -   Melancholy Misanthrope

Looking underneath the dark cloud to find the silver lining, and getting struck by lightning and pummeled by hail.
    -   angry dog

I am that old man loooking at it, and I shall oggle whatever I please so long as it has tit & bum appeal.
    -   Old Nob of the Mountain.

Girls who show everything but the areola and then wonder (while they look so innocent and surprised) what that old man was looking at.
    -   udidntgetme

I doubt Mr. Cameron cares about the furries jerking off to that Avatar cat girl over and over again. They made him $2 billion richer.
    -   Raynor

Masturbation.
    -   Heidi

Generalizing and calling it cynicism; that is plain ignorance.
    -   Disgusted & worn down

I stopped being optimistic when I realised that shoving rose-coloured spectacles up my arse made my hemhorroids worse.
    -   Middle Finger

Sermonising about how the glass is half full isnt going to add any more water to it.
    -   pessimist

Screw you cynical tossers. I earn more in a year doing what I love than most of you do working all your pathetic little lives!
    -   Landon Donovan.

RIP McOueen. The oh so easy death of those people who should know better than to chuck it all away so easily.
    -   La Fashionista

Too bad you dont like it here, Im not oblige to be rescued by a wannabe in pinky armor just because Im enjoying a great time here.
    -   Lance

Suckers like Landon Donovan
    -   ORlandooh

Cynicism is cheap—you can buy it at any 99p store—it’s built into all poor-quality goods.
    -   The Commedian

That the road map to peace is not the real territory.
    -   Exodus

Guys, don’t hang around here feeling miserable, woebegone & left-out! Cross over to the cynical side of web-life to: www.smirkingcynic.com
    -   Son of the Beach!

Nah, I dont see any active battle there like this one. Im not interest in waste my time on listen to any twaddly guy.
    -   Lance

Life is never that bad. The good bus of fortune is always around the corner.
    -   Lord Chandos of Chaos.

Irrelevant and probably detrimental reorganisations based on HOPE, not on facts and experience.
    -   Sux

This site’s a swizz! If you want to see “real cynicism” at work go here: www.smirkingcynic.com
    -   Son of the Beach!

KLOP IS COMING!
    -   The Wise One.

There is NO bliss in ignorance
    -   Stephanie

Stepping on somebody elses turd in the night when youre just taking a leak behind the bushes--its not right.
    -   Derby Gripe & Co.

Thank you, Rick, for signing the Loony Party of Great Britain’s guest book on: 8th Feb. 2010.
    -   O.M.R.L.P.

The truth ought not be sugar-coated in many a situation, but what of the line between unsolicited gabber and frank discourse?
    -   Hot-Chick on ACID!

Busting my ass through college, just to eventually work for some dropout, whose father is a drinking buddy of the CEO.
    -   depressed

Cynicism is dead, long live cynicism.
    -   Live & kicking Cynic

Britta water filters. They’re just too useful.
    -   Duke Nuke’em!

Attention ladies. Tugging at your miniskirts whilst sitting won`t make them any longer. Either let your goods be seen or wear a burka.
    -   The Stupidity Files

The bloke who cant spell his slang terms: it’s hot “totty” you idiot! Hot totty on the boil, too hot to touch and hot to trot, you idiot!
    -   Correction agent X

Get used to it, Stars and Bars, for your god does not live here.
    -   Domain

Im starting to have a nightmare about Jesus and Muhammad dating! Argh, get it out of my head! God please spare me!
    -   Stars and Bars

Hipsters. Enough Said.
    -   Josh

Hot toddy swearing on the phone in the street when they think nobody’s listening, because they don’t really know how to behave lady-like.
    -   Blinkered life

Contenders for the throne: behead the bastards!
    -   Bill The Conkerer!

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